


Eleanor’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

by Khamet



Series: Mommy Tahani and Little Eleanor [1]
Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Age Play, Eleanor Finally Finds a Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friends to family, Little Eleanor, Mama Tahani, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other, Self-Discovery, Temper Tantrums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2020-02-15 23:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18679321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khamet/pseuds/Khamet
Summary: What happens when Eleanor's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day gets challenged by Tahani's determined attitude?The first installment of the Mommy Tahani and Little Eleanor series.





	1. Chapter 1

The start of Eleanor's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day began like most do: on a Monday.

"Chidi!"

There was no reply.

"Chidi Chidi, bo-bidi, banana, fana, fo-fidi— I'll keep going, I mean it!"

Eleanor stood in what could closely be described as a disaster. Clothes lay scattered on the ground in various states of repose: a pile of undershirts stashed over here, button down t-shirts crumpled over there, a variety of sweaters flipped inside out on a chair... the list could go on. In the middle of all this chaos was Eleanor, a striped sock in one hand and a 32oz cup of Mountain Dew in the other. Her short hair stuck up in haphazard spikes, the only real evidence that it took her less than five minutes to turn a room completely upside down. She stared expectantly at the door, certain her best friend would show up in the next three seconds. When he did not she began to yell again.

"Chidi Anaconda—"

“It’s Anagonye, for the last time. Now I’m _certain_ you're trying to make me late." Came Chidi’s huffy reply from down the hall. "What, Eleanor? What could be so important— Oh my God. What have you been doing?! Eleanor, my room! I- what have you- my room!"

Yes. _His_ room indeed. Of course Eleanor knew the missing sock wasn't in the study- she already checked... albeit with eyes glued to her cell phone. Her next course of action was to take a look at where it couldn't be: Chidi's room. Nothing she ever wanted was in there, but she had to make sure. Like, super sure it wasn't in there. Chidi could understand that, right?

"I don't understand why you would have done this to my room! Why would you think I would take a sock I can't even wear?" The university professor stifled a groan and set his brief-pack down. The oddly shaped bag was a hybrid between a briefcase and a backpack, designed to be both functional and professional… somehow it captured neither quality. "Look, I can't be doing this with you right now. I'm calling Tahani to get you out of my room— no, I said ‘ _out_ ' of my room- and to do something productive with your day." He shooed Eleanor into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind him.

"Don't be such a killjoy, dude. I have plans of my own, but first I need to find my sock. I swear, ever since you let me crash at your place the washer has only eaten my stuff. Never yours."

"Let's get this straight, I didn't _let_ you crash at my place; you broke into my study and told me you'd murder me in my sleep if I didn't let you stay. I was afraid for nights after that; terrified you were watching me while I slept."

“Are you sure it was me who said that? I don’t recall threatening to ‘murder you in your sleep’.” She laughed. “Anyways, you couldn't kick your best friend out, right?" Eleanor leaned in and batted her eyes. Chidi made a sound of irritation and pushed past her on his way to the front door. "Plus, it's just a few more days. The pipes at my place broke and my land lord is _pbbbt_." She blew a raspberry and gave him a thumbs down.

“When you go I'll have the pleasure of picking my clothes from a hanger instead of the floor. It's no wonder you misplace all the stuff you wash. I told you: the key to matched socks is you separate your clothes according to type and color-"

"-and then you wash them based on the most urgent pile- yeah, yeah, you told me already. I think that idea sucks. Don't you know we're experiencing a drought, Cheed?" She held the front door open for him while he fished around in his oversized briefcase/backpack. Without looking up he replied:

"You always say we're in a drought when you're trying to get out of doing laundry. You can't wear the same jeans forever, Eleanor. Especially if you keep washing your white ones with the rest of your color clothes." Chidi was referring to the off-color jeans she found while picking through the clothes under her bed. Yeah, they were white once, so what? If Justin Beiber could go from cute to problematic, then so could her jeans.

Chidi produced a pair of keys with a triumphant smile on his face; he was officially ready to go to school. With a practiced motion he threw the awkward bag onto his back and descended the stairs two at a time.

"Wait," Eleanor called after him. "Don't go. You didn't take your lunch!"

"You didn't pack me one, I'm not falling for that again. I’m coming back tonight at 8."

“Ooooh~ I bet you've got a parent-teacher conference with a hot lady!"

"This is college, Eleanor."

"So?"

There was no reply. 

* * *

 

"Slow down, Chidi, I can't quite make out what you're saying. Eleanor did what to your broom? Please, I only just woke up."  

"Not my broom, my  _room._ She lost her sock and emptied my drawers to find it."

Chidi was in fact talking very rapidly into his phone. On the other end of the line was a very tired Tahani who was unused to being awake before 10am on a weekday. Her voice did not carry the usual air of poise; rather, she sounded like a smoker trying to give up the habit of consuming 3 packs a day. It was comforting to know that the perfect Tahani Al-Jamil sounded just as gruff and unpleasant as the rest of the world on an early morning. Chidi continued while his audience yawned into the mic:

"With mid-term exams in less than a week, I can't afford any more distractions."

"It's only Monday, Chidi. You have more than six days to create a test and have it ready for next week. You really need to relax, otherwise you'll end up with another stomachache."

"That's the thing: Eleanor is driving me crazy. She threatened to kill me in my sleep, Tahani. In addition to my sleepless nights, I spent two hours trying to figure out if I wanted students to print their names or sign them. Then, I had to determine if I wanted them to write it on the left or the right side of the page. This is all because of Eleanor!"

"You give her too much credit." Tahani yawned and checked the time on her watch: 9:06am. School would be starting in 54 minutes for Chidi, which meant he had approximately 15 minutes to rehearse whatever awkward greeting he planned on making, ten minutes to talk himself out of saying those exact words, and another 20 to review the material he would cover that day. The remainder of his time would be spent staring into space and rueing the moment he gave Eleanor Schellstrop keys to his apartment. 

Chidi unlocked his office and sank into a chair. "Listen, it's just for a day. I need you to take Eleanor for 24-hrs; tomorrow afternoon her landlord comes by to fix the broken pipes and then I can send her back to her apartment. Can you do me this favor?"

There was silence on Tahani's end as she considered the implications of babysitting Eleanor for a whole day. A solid 24-hrs. 1440 minutes. What could go wrong? Into the phone she said:

"You can count on me." 


	2. Chapter 2

Left to her own devices, Eleanor Schellstrop was a very resourceful young woman.

The adage, "leave no stone unturned", was drunkenly imparted to her in the seedy parking lot of Motel 8 just off the interstate. Her mother sat like a rag doll in the front seat of the family car with a bottle of alcohol resting between her thighs and her half-lidded gaze focused somewhere between reality and the life she wished she had. Six-year-old Eleanor paid little mind to her mother or the heat rising off the pavement as she flipped broken chunks of asphalt and peered underneath. She hoped to profit off the misfortune of guests who dropped loose change from their pockets as they beat a hasty retreat. At the time, Mrs. Schellstrop's incorrect, yet oddly literal, wisdom went clear over her Eleanor's head. All the little girl understood was the simple process of getting what she wanted by any means possible.

Ten minutes into her exploration of the lot she had collected 23 cents. This amount was added to the paint-stained quarter she found under the Schellstrop's refrigerator prior to the impromptu vacation. It was just her luck too— what if she hadn't found the quarter? It was doubtful her parents would give her the money to get a treat. They seemed uncharacteristically anxious as they pulled out of the neighborhood and drove along the interstate for what seemed like forever. Eleanor had not stopped to consider _why_ the family was taking a vacation in the middle of the work week or why it always happened around the time her grandparents phoned; she had no idea her mother's folks were hellbent on adopting 'Ellie' and raising her properly. No, the 6-year-old was too preoccupied with the realization that 48 cents could only buy one popsicle from the gas station, and she wanted two. Focused, it took her a minute to find the pennies needed for a second treat. 

Of the many unhappy memories Eleanor possessed of her dysfunctional family, this was one which hung in the balance as neither good nor bad. She recalled the way the pavement felt as it burned hotly through the soles of her shoes, and how delicious the popsicles tasted as she squeezed melted juice from the tube. Her father had scolded her for scrounging around the lot like a street urchin, but in the same breath praised her for being resourceful. It was through this experience that Eleanor Schellstrop knew she was frighteningly capable of anything. 

Well, _almost_ anything.

* * *

 

The 10am sun burned Eleanor's fair skin as she opened a window to observe the people passing below. They looked like pieces of confetti with their brightly colored scarves and long skirts, or their hats bearing sports logos. It was interesting to watch people lead complex lives from her detached position above the foot traffic. Eleanor wondered if Chidi came to the window when he too was trying to unravel the mysteries of the universe. It did not occur to her that their versions of mysteries would be radically different: where Chidi would contemplate the moral implications of assisting hostile alien life (should they come to him for personal counsel), Eleanor would mull over the enigma of a striped sock simply vanishing * _poof*_ into thin air. 

Rationally speaking, Eleanor knew she could put on whatever sock she pleased. It was not as if she were impressing the whole world with her scuffed sneakers and her smart ankle attire; no, she was not even trying to impress Janet with whom she was meeting at noon. To put it simply, Eleanor  _needed_ to wear the sock. It was the key to having a good day, she just knew it. Her father used to have quirks like this: his was throwing salt over his shoulder when discussing the calamities which befell his workmates. He claimed it warded off evil spirits who wanted to 'pull a fast one' on him. It was unclear if his superstitious habit had anything to do with his somewhat good luck and ability to pay bills by the skin of his teeth. According to him, he was a successful man thanks to the salt trick. 

It was too bad Eleanor had not picked up a habit of creating her own luck like her father. The following chain of events could have been avoided if perhaps Eleanor had not talked shit about Jason cheating at Smash Bros the night before. 

From the seat of Eleanor's jeans came the sound of Kesha's _Tik Tok_ at an ungodly volume. The young woman fumbled for the phone as her ringtone grew progressively louder and more unpleasant to the ears. Just as Eleanor produced the phone from her pocket, the worst possible thing happened: it began to slip. Eleanor watched in slow motion as her prized possession fell from her grasp and clattered onto the window sill. Kesha's 2009 bop continued to play as Eleanor's heart hammered wildly in her chest. Too close. No one below the apartment building was the wiser of the drama playing out above their heads.

"Oh my God," Eleanor let out a nervous chuckle.  

It was as she reached to pick up the device that her elbow knocked it off the ledge… where it fell 6 stories onto the pavement. 

...

Tahani gave a startled yelp as the sound of glass hitting pavement jolted her out of her headspace. Unsure of where the sound initially came from, the well-manicured woman hung back in the cool interior of the limousine. She pulled her phone half-way from her face to look around.

"What was that?" She looked to the driver who waited patiently with his eyes forward. If he heard the noise, he pretended it did not exist. Either that or he was incredibly hard of hearing, which seemed more likely. The man looked to be as old as Moses and probably had Pharaoh in his yearbook. 

The phone in her hand abruptly cut to voicemail:  _Hey dummy, you've reached Eleanor. I'm not at the phone right now—_ Tahani did not need to leave a voicemail. She was in front of Chidi's building, a nice 8 story apartment modeled by a French artisan whose grandson she knew rather well. Chidi's apartment was on the sixth floor and she was merely giving Eleanor a courtesy call. If only that girl would answer… 

No matter, a promise was a promise and that's what she was here to keep.

Tahani sucked in a deep breath and exited the car before she could talk herself out of the next 24hrs. She spied a broken iPhone on the ground and let out an empathetic sighas she marched up the stairs. Whatever poor soul dropped their phone was in for a world of hurt; anything short of Steve Jobs being resurrected to restore the device himself, there was no coming back. Especially not with a phone screen cracked _that_ badly.  

The door to Chidi's unit was painted a cheery color which made Tahani thankful she stayed at her HeirBNB on the  _other_ , duller side of town. There was an art of subtly that the complex lacked, though many did not mind. Typical tenants of this area were older college students seeking affordable housing while they pursued their various degrees. Tahani did not fear waking anyone in the building as she knocked on Chidi's door. 

"Eleanor?" 

Silence.

"It's Tahani— Jesus Christ!" 

The door swung open and Tahani's hand flew up to her chest in fright. Eleanor's sudden appearance was enough to scare anyone. Her hair looked as though it were styled by a fork in an electrical socket, and her clothing choices were not much better. She gave Tahani a gruff 'gimme a sec, hot stuff' before weaving around her and running down the stairs. The whole exchange took less than 7 seconds, which was enough to leave Tahani confused as she trailed after her friend. 

"Eleanor— Eleanor, what's the matter? Wait for me!" 

Behind her the door to Chidi's unit shut with a decisive click. 

"Hey, what's gotten into you?" Tahani, having just ascended and descend 6 flights of stairs, took a moment to catch her breath on the bottom floor. She thanked her past self for choosing shorts and a breathable blouse; the mid-morning heat was beginning to get to her. Eleanor on the other hand looked very comfortable in her off-white jeans and pajama shirt. There were no shoes on her feet to protect her from the heat rising off the sidewalk, nor the creepy crawlies found not far away. In Eleanor's hands was the broken iPhone. 

"You wouldn't believe it, but I was here when that phone quite literally fell from the sky. I feel terrible for the person who dropped… oh no, was it something I said?" Tahani let her retelling of the event die on her lips as Eleanor's face drooped. Suddenly it clicked in the taller woman's head. "Oh. _OH._ That was your phone that fell, wasn't it Eleanor? I tried to reach you on… and then the phone… voicemail… oh. I'm sorry, love." 

The muscles in Eleanor's face twitched as she fought an invisible battle with her emotions: cry over a stupid phone breaking or suck it up like an adult until the phone could get fixed? Tahani was answering before Eleanor had the chance to mull over it too long. 

"Come, let's have you change into a proper outfit before you go out. I think the mall has a repair store for your phone…" She tilted her head in contemplation. "If I'm not mistaken, the mall just opened a taco stand in the food court. We'll stop there for lunch." She didn't give the shorter woman a chance to answer as she gently, but firmly took her elbow and guided her up the stairs. On the sixth landing, she looked expectantly at Eleanor for the keys to Chidi's unit. 

"What?" Came Eleanor's flat response to the staring. She went to push the handle to the door and was met with resistance. "Oh no."

"'Oh no' what?" 

"Oh-no-the-door-closed-and-my-keys-are-inside, what. Of course I did." Eleanor threw her hands up in defeat. "What time is it, Legs?" 

"I resent that name, and it's five to eleven. Have you made plans for your afternoon already?" 

"Yeah, I told Janet we'd go out today, but I can't go out looking like this." She gestured to the outfit she had on already. The ensemble made Tahani's stomach turn. 

"No, I suppose you can't…" Together they stood in contemplative silence. Chidi would return home at 8 which was too late, and to get keys from him at this hour would be impossible. Nothing from Tahani's lavish wardrobe would fit her, therefore it was a pointless avenue to explore. That meant one thing. "Looks like we've got some shopping of our own to do. My treat."

"What? You know I hate shopping. Plus, you only shop at stuff like Bloomingdales and Kate Spade; I'm more of a Forever 21 kinda girl, if you know what I mean. Gotta stay youthful." 

They walked down the staircase toward Tahani's waiting car. Eleanor paused outside the open door and watched Tahani get in without following suit.  

"Eleanor, don't be ridiculous. You're well over the age of 21 and we both know you have questionable taste in fashion. Get in the car already, I'm melting in this heat."

The sun was beginning to burn the soles of Eleanor's feet and she hopped from one foot to the other. Finally, she caved. "Okay, okay. But I want the food first, Chidi only has cereal at his place and you know I hate granola." 

"Yeah, okay, just get in already."

Eleanor did. 


	3. Chapter 3

 "Absolutely not." 

Tahani did not bother to look up from her magazine as she flipped to the next page. The actual contents of the magazine were far from interesting; the issue was a few months old and the styles from the previous Spring line up. Having no desire to flip through the Spring styles any longer, Tahani lay the magazine down and picked up a kids fashion issue. 

Eleanor looked at herself in the floor length mirror. It was done to annoy Tahani, but her friend was too absorbed in her magazine to notice. She disappeared back into the changing room. 

At the behest of Eleanor, the two women had entered the GAP outlet in search of a new outfit that suited Eleanors _unique_ style of clothing. The colors and patterns were not something Tahani would voluntarily wear, but it was not her turn to shop today, this was for Eleanor. It grew increasingly apparent the small woman had a _gift_  for choosing loud patterns and bright colors, both of which made a combination offensive to even the most color blind individual. To offset her poor taste in fashion, Tahani slipped a few sensible items into the mix and had yet to see any of them make an appearance. 

"I expect you to try on at least the romper, Eleanor. No more of those clown costumes you've been showing me." 

"You mean  _this_?" Eleanor opened the changing room door to give Tahani a peek at the lime green floral top she was wearing. It got the reaction she was looking for: a grimace. 

"Especially not  _that._ If you keep it up, I'm going to come in there and dress you myself." 

"I bet you'd like that, you weirdo." Eleanor giggled as she shut the door and slipped into a new set of clothes. To Tahani's great delight, it was the navy romper paired with sandals. 

"Well, you clean up nicely." Tahani clapped her hands and stood to adjust the fabric. This went on until Eleanor finally had enough and began pushing away the helping hands.  

"Stop that, I'm fine." Pale cheeks burned, possibly from the lack of sunblock on her skin or the amount of energy Tahani was putting into a simple task. Either way, it was a pleasurable experience to be the focus of someone's positive attention. She couldn't remember the last time someone had bothered to check on her personal grooming, let alone her sense of style. Not even when she was a child. The thought instantly sobered Eleanor and she shyly turned from the mirror. 

Tahani caught the change in mood and went to take her friend's hands. They were small and fit so nicely between her larger ones; she wondered why she had not done so sooner. To Eleanor she said: “Why don’t we purchase this one? You look darling in blue, and I’m not just saying that. Look,” she turned Eleanor to the mirror again. “It makes your eyes pop.”

“I dunno, I’ve never worn a… a whatsit? Jumper, jumpsuit, Roomba…” Eleanor was so absorbed in her babbling that she failed to notice Tahani pulling the tags off. It was when she was being led to the checkout in her new clothes that she realized they were done. As she opened her mouth to complain about her lack of say in the matter, she thought about the compliment. _You look darling in blue._ Did Legs really mean that?

The answer was yes.

* * *

Eleanor had never been the type of girl to hang out at the mall. Following her mother’s example, she looked down on the girls in her middle school classes who flaunted their wealth by purchasing elaborate costumes for the Winter Formal event, or having make-up at the age of 11. Eleanor did not think poorly of her parents when they spent money on booze and cigarettes instead of giving her the funds to buy a dress; they had their own life to live and Eleanor had hers. Instead of spending time in the mall, she went on adventures of her own. They usually consisted of her biking to the end of the street and picking fights with the twins, Terrance and Talia, who couldn’t resist a good tussle. To the scrappy 11 year old Eleanor, there was more excitement to be had in a fight than in the mall.

Eleanor let 19 years settle the dust of her childhood and now found enjoyment in outings, especially when her friends bought her food. She and Tahani sat at a table in the food court, Tahani fiddling with the sunglasses on her head and Eleanor consuming her 2nd pretzel for the afternoon. The time was 12:30 according to the giant clock in the plaza.

“Are you sure you told Janet we would meet her at McDonalds?” Eleanor said around a mouthful of cinnamon pretzel.

“Positive. I asked her to bring Jason as well; he's been addicted to his gaming system all day.” Tahani stopped fussing with the sunglasses and opted to hang it from the front of her blouse. “She and Jason ought to be here any second. Keep an eye out for them, will you? I’m melting in this heat.”  

“Sure.”

Eleanor settled further into the chair as Tahani made a b-line for the restrooms. The food court was alive with activity as young men and women flocked to the popular eateries. Eleanor discreetly watched couples, some with children and others without, lean into one another as they ordered food or told a particularly titillating joke. A few tables over a mother furiously wiped her son’s sticky hands before he could put them in his mouth again. This delighted the toddler who proceeded to touch everything in range of his stroller.

Eleanor wondered if this was what she had missed while beating up Terrance and Talia down the street: the small interactions between friends, couples, and loved ones. The Schellstrop family was not known for their outings, both big and small. Eleanor knew it wasn’t completely normal to stay home every weekend or spend summer breaks avoiding her grandparents. She just figured this was what normal looked like to her family and no one told her differently.  

“Did they come yet?” Tahani returned looking as though she stepped straight out of a VOGUE magazine and not a public restroom. Eleanor shook her head and stuffed the last of the pretzel into her mouth. “Don’t do that, love, you look like a seagull stashing scraps down its throat. If it’s food you want, we can always get more.”

“Nohhh, ahm gool.” She gave the okay symbol with her thumb and forefinger. This was unsatisfactory to Tahani who reached into her bag and produced a pack of wet wipes. She went to work without asking permission, simply wiping sugar granules and flecks of dough from Eleanor’s face as if she had done it a million times. Eleanor stayed perfectly still.

“There. Just in time too, I think I see Janet.”

* * *

 

"Did you know that bats are mammals? They can also see, but only in the dark." 

Jason stood in front of GameCentral with Eleanor, his attention focused on the life-sized Batman cutout. The six-foot superhero gazed at them in what looked to be disapproval, his forehead creased deeply and mouth set in a scowl.

"Does that have anything to do with the game play?" Eleanor didn't care much for Batman or the games, but she had agreed to come along with Jason just so she didn't have to hear Tahani and Janet gush over designers.   

"No, but Janet told me all the reasons why Batman's name didn't make any sense. I guess she's right. C'mon, I want to see if they have a copy of the game." 

There were people inside who were interested with the new superhero game and Jason joined in the discussion. Like she had done with Tahani and Janet, Eleanor left Jason to geek out with likeminded people. She found a Smash Bros tournament going on in the back of the store and settled in to play. After 9 wins and 4 losses, Eleanor realized she had not heard Jason's voice in a while.

"Hey, have you seen a guy in a Jaguars jersey?" Eleanor asked as she shouldered her way into the group of nerds. Chidi had told her it was unkind to think of people with specific interests 'nerds', but it was an apt title for the young men and women who were talking about the game. Some wore capes, others utility belts, and one even wore a mask. It was easy to tell that Jason was not among them. "Nevermind." 

The cashier at the counter had not seen him either and did not feel particularly chatty as Eleanor grilled him. 

"He was wearing a Jaguars shirt, black and green, I think." 

"Do you mean jaguars like the animal?"

"No, the team, dummy. Jaguars, like the Jacksonville Jaguars? Y'know, football." She pantomimed the American sport.  

The cashier gave her a condescending look and turned to help another customer. So much for his help. Eleanor felt like an idiot as she patted her pockets for a phone that was not there. She and Tahani had dropped it at the iRepair store upon their arrival at the mall. It did not help that Eleanor had no idea where the store was located. Right now, her biggest concern was finding her friends without her phone. If only she memorized their phone numbers like she memorized the number to the local pizzerias.  

Eleanor stepped onto an ascending escalator and rode to the third floor. Bloomingdales was the last place she had seen Tahani and Janet shopping. The department store looked much bigger and crowded than Eleanor remembered. Mothers pushing strollers and old couples clogged the aisles making it difficult to skirt past them in their rush to buy cosmetics and creams. Eleanor was too short to see over the heads of most people and pretty soon she found herself running to the exit of the store. There was no telling if Tahani and Janet were still in there. It made more sense to wait in a spot where she could see the entrance. 

Without a phone or an idea where her friends might be, Eleanor felt very small. Adults never got themselves lost in a mall-- hell, what adult didn't have their cellphone on them at all times? Apparently this one. 

Eleanor backed up as a young man on his phone almost ran into her. He had the device to his ear with one hand and his son's hand in the other. She wanted to pull a face at the father/son duo, but her heart wasn't in it. It wasn't their fault she hadn't kept track of time, neither was it their fault that her lucky sock was missing or that she had broken her phone. That was all Eleanor. 

Feeling worse than ever, Eleanor sank onto a bench facing the crowd. She could feel the cold fingers of anxiety taking hold of her limbs; she was no stranger to their touch. If she stayed too long in one spot it would consume her like it had many times before. Only, the times where it hadn't, Eleanor had been wearing her lucky socks. Today, however, she would have to manufacture her own kind of luck. 

She started by looking for a map. 


	4. Chapter 4

The mid-afternoon sun was beginning to get to Tahani, even through the heavily air-conditioned atmosphere of the mall. She, Janet, and Jason stood under a marquee in an attempt to weather the crowd of people who had suddenly surged to the shopping center after their work and school day were over. Children in school uniforms raced to the food plaza for an afternoon snack while others went straight to Game Central. This was where the trio had been, up until the arrival of the children. They beat a hasty exit to a more quiet side of the mall.

The store which they stood before invited patrons to step into the world of  _'Zozo's Occult Accoutrements'_ to explore the world of the supernatural, unexplained, and creepy. Zozo, if that was even the real name of the owner, made it their business to sell quartz crystals 'touched by God' and spell books said to have been uncovered at the same time as the Dead Sea Scrolls. Zozo even sold a doll with the spirit of Nefertiti trapped in its porcelain body, though it looked as though the doll was possessed by two demons called Cocaine and Ecstasy. The bulging eyes on its painted face were truly off-putting. Other trinkets lined the black shelves, but none having as auspicious (or suspicious) origin as the crystals or divinely-touched items. Having lived through one of Michael's neighborhoods and taken a frighteningly brief tour of Hell, Jason, Tahani, and Janet determined Zozo was full of shit and the items cheaply manufactured. 

Tahani checked her phone again: no missed calls. She caught Jason just as he was about to open his mouth and impart another one of his  _genius_ ideas to finding Eleanor: "Ah-ah. I want you to think about what you're about to say. Are you going to ask me to call Eleanor?"

"No." 

Tahani lifted an eyebrow. 

"No really, I was going to say… yeah, you got me. I was going to say we should call her."

Janet patted her boyfriend's shoulder sympathetically. Since hearing the news of Eleanor's disappearance, her brows had remained furrowed as though she were in deep thought. Tahani wanted to ask what was going on in her head, but did not wish to pry. Instead, she offered a suggestion: 

"I believe we should look for her in the food court. That's where we met up and I assume she would go back there to wait. Plus, she eats like a starved hyena and I fear it may be time to feed that beast." 

Jason was quick to reply before Tahani could stop and make him think. "Yeah, that makes sense and all, but Eleanor locked her purse at Chidi's place. Unless she's Aladdin and learned how steal bread, I don't know how she'd eat for free." 

That was the first useful thing Jason offered to the conversation and they took a moment to process that information. Janet broke the silence. "I believe Eleanor would be heading to the repair store, don't you?" She looked at Tahani who encouraged her with a nod. "It's possible she doesn't remember our numbers, therefore she needs her phone. I bet she's gone to _iRepair_ to pick it up. It is my opinion we check there." 

"Janet, you're a genius." Were it socially appropriate, Tahani would have done a cartwheel. Instead she clapped her hands and guided the group in the direction of the phone repair store. 

"That's my girl." Jason said proudly. 

Janet's declaration, 'Not a girl', was lost as the trio left Zozo's behind without a second glance.

* * *

Trouble was never very far from Eleanor. To an outside observer it would appear her mere existence was punctuated by one troubling incident after another: the disappearance of her sock, the pipes which were busted in her apartment, the 16 year old cashier at  _iRepair_ that she threatened, and now the security guard escorting her to the mall security office. Like Mrs. Schellstrop always said about her daughter: 'That kid? She's going places.' She was right, Eleanor  _was_ going places. 

She was going to mall jail. 

...

"Look, Jimmy—"

"No."

"Wendall—" 

"No."

"Horace? You look like a Horace." 

"I look like the guy who is writing you a warning to leave the kid at  _iRepair_  alone. Now, for the last time, give me your name." 

The man behind the counter wore an exasperated expression as he looked over the paper on his desk. He looked funny behind the flashy orange desk with his hunched shoulders and stuffy suit. The room exuded an energy akin to that of a middle-aged politician trying to relate to the youth of 2019. Gaudy posters saying, 'Crime Ain't Fine' and 'Don't be a Fool, Stay in School', decorated the walls and a roll of smiley face stickers rested on a stack of pamphlets. Eleanor supposed 'mall jail' was the wrong term for the place she supposed she belonged in. The seats were cushioned with orange polka dotted pillows while a diffuser chugged happily away in a corner of the office. The receptionist had even given her a cup of water. Eleanor could get used to this. 

"My name? Well, you can call me Eleanor, but my birth certificate says Her Majesty Eleanor. I usually take off the gauche part, it draws too much attention, don't you think?" Eleanor stopped waggling her eyebrows when the officer's scowl deepened. "Listen guy, once I get my phone back I'll be out of your hair."

"Uh-huh. I'm balding." The man didn't look up from his writing. "Do you capitalize the words 'her' and 'majesty'?" 

"You know I do, Jerome," Eleanor covered her laugh with a cough. "…or Gerrard. I'm going to keep guessing until you tell me. I have all day." 

Eleanor and her unnamed host were interrupted by a knock at the door. The receptionist, Kassandra, peered around the door with a smile. "Eleanor, I believe your friends are here. They'll be waiting for you in the lobby when you're done." 

"I'd hate for _her majesty_ to outstay her welcome, Kassandra. Take her with you, please." The officer stood quickly to dismiss Eleanor. Under his breath he muttered, "Three more years to retirement."

Eleanor all but backflipped into the lobby in anticipation to see the gang. She was moments away from launching herself in Janet's arms when she caught the glower etched into the landscape of Tahani's face. 

"Uh-oh." 

"Uh-oh is right, missy. You're in big trouble." 

She was, indeed.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends and followers, thanks for viewing this chapter. I apologize for the tardiness and brevity; I'm attempting to find a summer job and the process interrupted my train of thought. I have the second half of this chapter in my drafts and it should be ready very soon!   
> Thanks for your patience, my dudes :) ttyl


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part two of the previous chapter

_Think calm, Tahani. Calm. You're not going to yell, you're just going to talk to Eleanor. No yelling._

Tahani rubbed her temples like she had seen her mother do a thousand times. It used to bother her when she would approach her mother with whatever it was 12 year old girls wanted to bother their mum's about, but now that she was an adult and in charge of someone with much less impulse control, the action seemed oddly soothing. Eleanor stood before her with a look of practiced bewilderment. She had one hand on her hip and the other combing through her hair in a manner that spoke confusion. Had Tahani not spent literal months in Hell with the little fiend, she may have found herself falling for the act too. Fortunately, she knew better. 

"Let's walk through what happened one more time, Eleanor. You enter the store—"

"—Uh-huh."

"You politely ask the 16 year old for your phone, minus your identification." 

"So far so good." 

"Alright, let's just revisit the fact that he is 16. Still considered a child by many standards. I just want to make that clear." 

"Yeah, I got that part." Eleanor blew air out of her cheeks. "Kids are getting jobs so young these days. Wow, 16? I didn't know that." 

"Right, but that's not our focus right now." Tahani was beginning to see why her mother rubbed her temples when Tahani came to her with a complaint about Kamilah. Looking back, she remembered her mother rubbing her temples a lot. "Eleanor?" 

The woman before her was doing a very good job at avoiding eye-contact. She looked just about everywhere  _but_ Tahani, which was quite a feat, considering Tahani was standing directly in front of her. Eleanor sighed and dropped the attitude of confusion. "Whaddya want, Legs? He wasn't going to give me my phone without an ID which I  _locked_ at Chidi's when I ran after my phone. I didn't mean to scare him… I just wanted my phone back." 

Tahani counted five breaths slowly before answering. "I know you did not intentionally wish to cause harm, Eleanor. I ought to give you a sticker for your honesty." Eleanor's cheeks flushed a delicate shade of pink, but she did not answer. Instead, she shoved her hands further into the pockets of her romper. "Well, I can't think of a punishment better than you having to apologize to the poor employee for frightening him. After that we can join Janet and Jason for some ice cream. How does that sound?" 

"Do I get two if I'm nice?"

Tahani's frustration abated and she gave Eleanor a quizzical look. "Two of what, dear?"

"Stickers, Legs. You said I should get one for being honest— which I always am— and I wanna know if I'll get another if I don't beat up the kid." 

Tahani took both sides of Eleanor's face and squished them between her palms. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

Eleanor rolled her eyes. One way or another, she would get her second sticker. 

***

"Are you sure everything is under control?" Chidi practically sobbed into his phone. He was up to his ears in homework and wanted nothing more than to know his house would be empty when he got home. He was retuning Tahani's call a few hours later, now that school was out for the afternoon. Still, he had many papers to go over and knew he would be most productive at his office. "Where are you guys, anyway?" 

"Yes, yes, Chidi, everything is under control. I've taken Eleanor, Janet, and Jason to the ice cream shop along the boardwalk. You know, the one where you can walk onto the beach?" Tahani looked over her shoulder to where Eleanor was haggling with Jason over who got the remainder of Janet's ice cream. Janet was entertained watching the two sugar-addicts play rock-paper-scissors-punch for the prize. _Wait_. Tahani did a double take. That wasn't how the game went. She looked on in horror as Eleanor gave Jason a swift punch to the arm.

"Tahani? Tahani, can you hear me?" 

"Huh— what was that, Chidi? I'm sorry—" She turned back to face the ocean. "There was a, uh, a bird. A very violent one. Just punched another bird straight out of the air. Yeah, really bizarre. This beach isn't what it once was." 

"…" Chidi cleared his throat. "You don't have to cover for Eleanor; I'm well aware of her violent streak. I promise, I'll make it up to you somehow." From outside his office door, a student called a tentative 'Mr. Anagonye?'. "Tahani, I'll have to call you back. Thanks again for doing this."

"Wait! Wait, Chidi, Eleanor locked her keys inside your apartment. We need—" The call screen disappeared. Tahani counted to ten to calm her nerves… then counted to ten once more for good measure. She was doing a good job winging this 'favor' thing. She wondered if she were doing a better job than Kamilah would have done in this situation. There was a tap on her shoulder.

"Yes, Janet?" 

"Can you come here for a sec?" 

Tahani didn't like the sound of that. There was no need for Janet to elaborate for the scene was quite self-explanatory: Eleanor and Jason had determined the winner of Janet's ice cream. However, with a winner there was always a loser. 

The loser was crying.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience, guys! I got a summer job as a waiter at a restaurant. The pay is wack, but I enjoy seeing the guests!  
> Now, let's get back to our girls!!


	6. Chapter 6

By all definitions, Eleanor was a hot mess.

"He hit me first," She blubbered from atop the trash receptacle outside a public restroom. Nosy passerby craned their necks to see the grown woman who was crying, but one thunderous scowl from Tahani sent them on their way. 

"I don't have any pity for you or Jason. You hooligans play too rough," Tahani rubbed angrily at the ice cream stain on Eleanor's romper. She did not care that Eleanor did not want to be treated as a child, neither did she care if she were irritating the skin underneath by rubbing so hard. This was what happened when playing rough: someone got their feelings hurt, as well as a skinned knee. The skinned knee was not from this particular incident, rather from a disagreement which happened a week before at Michael's cookout. Jason and Eleanor had quarreled over who made the best s'more— which both were convinced they made the best— and the situation devolving into a shoving match from there. Michael offered to settle the score by trying the 'disgusting human squares' and seeing what all the fuss was about; in the end, he called the experience 'utterly abhorrent' and he wanted exactly 3,000 of the desserts shipped to his old co-workers in the Bad Place. 

Tahani wished Michael were here to offer help. She had no idea what she was supposed to do in the event someone cried their eyes out sitting on top of a trash can. Well, perhaps they would do the same as they would for a person crying their eyes out in a perfectly normal setting. Tahani did not know what to do in that situation either. She chose to keep her hands busy and focus on not throttling Eleanor. 

Tahani hoped Janet was having better luck talking to Jason. 

***

"Did you know humans shed approximately 64 liters of water in their lifetime? It's not an exact number, but that's about as close as humans in your dimension have come to quantifying something so intimate." 

"That doesn't make me feel better, Janet." 

Janet and Jason sat on the ground outside the bathroom with their backs to the sun. Their hands were sticky from the sand and Jason had an itch above his left buttcheek that he wanted to scratch super bad, but he could tell this was supposed to be a very serious moment. After Tahani yelled at them for playing too rough, she had taken Eleanor away. All Jason wanted to do was tell his friend he was sorry and that she could come over and play his new Batman game. However, Janet said the girls needed time to cool off. Didn't she know they had just eaten ice cream? That was as cool as you could get in this heat.

Man, girls were weird. 

"I think it's amazing how many emotions humans have. So many opportunities to showcase them in one sitting; how do humans know the right moment to express even one?" Janet was talking more to herself than Jason at this point. "The English lexicon offers many variations of joy, sadness, and anger. Which one are you feeling now, Jason?" She fixed a curious eye on her boyfriend. What emotion would he choose to express? 

"You're creeping me out. I just want to tell Eleanor I'm sorry." 

Jason scooted a few inches away and wrapped his arms around his legs. The sun was getting to be too hot, he'd have to move into the shade soon, but Eleanor was in the shade and Tahani told him to hang out with Janet who was being creepy and he just wanted to make things better and he was sorry for punching her and— 

Suddenly Janet was standing in front of him and offering her hand. He took it and stood. "I think I know how to make things better between you and Eleanor." 

"How? I think she'll hate me forever. How long is forever, Janet?" 

"Time is a social construct. I'm going to tell Tahani that we'll see them later tonight. Wait for me here." 

Janet disappeared around the building and came back a second later. 

"Did you tell them I was sorry?" Jason looked eagerly around her shoulder to see if Eleanor had followed. No one was there. Well, there was a creepy old guy who was staring at him, but he didn't count. 

"I told them we have something to pick up from  _Zozo's_. I think Eleanor could use a little luck right now." 

Confused, Jason took his girlfriend's hand. He already made up his mind that girls were weird and would never make any sense. Regardless, he'd follow Janet wherever she led. Hopefully, they would find the object of Eleanor's affection that would make her like him again. 

Together they left the boardwalk.

***

Tahani threw the last of the wet wipes into the bin underneath Eleanor. She shuddered to think about the germs living on the filthy surface: the nasty .01% who refused to be killed by disinfectant wipes. Now those same bacteria were living on the back of Eleanor's legs and palms. Tahani prayed she didn't try to touch her face.

Eleanor was too busy crying to think about bacteria. She barely registered Janet coming to say goodbye. All Eleanor could think about was how this was the worst day of her life and none of it was her fault. If only she could make Tahani see that.

"Speak up, Eleanor. I can't understand you when you mumble." 

Eleanor opened puffy eyes to see Tahani regarding her with open skepticism. "I said it wasn't my fault. Really. It all started after I lost my lucky sock. I know how crazy it sounds, but it's true." She was about to wipe her eyes when Tahani slapped her hand away. "Ow! What's your problem?"

Tahani stumbled her way through an excuse about germs before gesturing for Eleanor to continue. 

Eleanor did her best to recount the events of the day starting with her sock and ending with losing to Jason. Tahani nodded politely, although she was certain some of the events didn't happen  _exactly_ as Eleanor claimed. Nevertheless, she was a good friend and listened. At the conclusion of the tale, both contemplated the happenings of Eleanor's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. It took a moment for Tahani to gather her thoughts and when she did, she simply stated:

"If I didn't know better, I'd say that someone in your position could use a nap." 

It was Eleanor's turn to look at Tahani with skepticism. "Did you not hear what I said? I'm having the worst day of my life and you think I should take a nap?" 

"Not only a nap, but you could use water too. I don't doubt you've cried yourself dry. You can't run on Mountain Dew and pretzels all day." Tahani wiped an errant tear from Eleanor's cheek. In a much softer tone she continued. "We all have bad days. When Chidi goes to school tomorrow we'll look for your sock. Tonight, however, you're going to stay with me. Does that sound alright?" 

Eleanor looked to her toes as if they held the answers to the universe. Tahani was right, as usual. Eleanor _was_ tired; she was crashing hard from the caffeine in the Mountain Dew and the sun made her body feel as heavy as lead. Maybe taking a nap wasn't as bad as it sounded.

Tahani gathered Eleanor's belongings and took her hand. "Alright my little ruffian, let's get you home." 

They stood up and waited for the car.   

* * *

The ride home was quiet and uneventful. Eleanor fell asleep almost as soon as she flopped onto the backseat and woke up only to complain her tummy hurt from eating junk food. The Heirbnb was no more than a twenty minute drive from the mall, which was enough for Tahani to catch a few winks. Lord knew how badly she wanted to take a nap. Being with Eleanor was like being on a rollercoaster traveling 90 kilometers per hour without assurance there was a track. Being Eleanor's friend and being her minder were two different experiences; Tahani did not like being responsible for Eleanor's actions as much as she liked being her friend. 

Yet a part of her didn't completely dislike it. 

As the car pulled up to the front door, Tahani felt good about her ability to manage Eleanor. Minus the incident with the boy at the phone repair store, irritating the mall cop, fighting Jason, and contracting every disease known to man from the lid of a trash receptacle— Tahani wasn't doing too bad. The remainder of the 24 hours would go by quickly. All she needed to do was get Eleanor showered before she infected the entire home with her own unique strain of the bubonic plague. 

The driver left Tahani the task of getting Eleanor out of the car while he dropped their bags inside. Tahani had seen many TV programs where a child was carried from the couch to their bed by a parent… yet she had never seen them do so from a car, let alone lift a full grown woman. Luckily, the queen of perfect timing woke up before Tahani actually got around to lifting Eleanor. Needless to say, that would have ended badly.  

"We're home, Eleanor. Let's get you a shower and into some new clothes. I did some shopping for you, I hope you don't mind— oh, you look positively green. Are you alright?"

In answer Eleanor clawed her way out of the car and onto her knees. The contents of her stomach came spilling out on the cobbled driveway in messy chunks. Tahani did not remember joining Eleanor on the ground, but here she was hugging her to her chest. Warm tears began color her blouse immediately.

"I don't feel so good..."

Tahani nodded against Eleanor's mussed hair. "Shh. It's okay."

Eleanor buried her head further into Tahani. Her friend knew everything about her terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and yet was still here. She thanked whatever supernatural being made the executive decision to send her to the Bad Place where she met all her new friends. She thought her heart might burst if she didn't share something in this meaningful moment. Eleanor cleared her throat and croaked:

"Get off my leg, Bigfoot."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another late update, friends.
> 
> My dad is hella sick and I've had to drive him to doctors appointments/hospital visits. He tore a ligament (or something like that) in his hip and has been in the worst pain for about a week and a half. I can't promise a more consistent update schedule just yet, but I'll do my best to have a chapter out once every 10 days. Thanks for your patience.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story isn't dead, I promise! This chapter is a little short mostly because it took a while for me to pick up where I left off. Check the notes after the story to get caught up on updates.

 There was nothing 'humble' about Tahani's Heirbnb and that was a fact. 

"You'll have to forgive the state of the house. The marble is quite chipped and the curtains could use a facelift, but I'm afraid this is the best I can do on short notice." Said Tahani with a hint of blush on her cheeks. They were standing in a foyer easily the size of Eleanor's apartment. It was no surprise that the wealthy socialite only stayed in 5-star mansions, but _this?_ This was fancy to a whole new degree.

Eleanor's sleepy eyes lit up as she took in the extravagant decorations. The interior walls were painted a deep blue that gradually faded to white the higher it went, and dotted along the walls were wooden marine animals coated in gold leaf. Eleanor found this little fact out after touching every creature she could get her hands on. There were schools of fish swarming near the foot staircase, a pack of dolphins leaping out of a doorway, an octopus peering out from behind the shoe cabinet, and many other animals placed at a reachable height. The artist behind this elaborate work of art paid very close attention to detail, taking care not missing even a single scale. Tahani had seen the animals hundreds of times and allowed time for Eleanor take in the spectacular sight. Her curious little hands touched whatever animal they could find; sometimes petting and other times poking, but always respectful. It became clear after a few minutes that Eleanor would require a nudge to get her moving again.

"Eleanor, dear," Tahani took one of Eleanor's hands. "Why don't we get your bath sorted out and then you can come back to, er, whatever it is you're doing."

Reluctantly, Eleanor stopped peering into the mouth of an enormous manta ray and yawned. That was cue for Tahani to lead the way. 

"Shall we?"  

Hand in hand they ascended the staircase to the second floor. 

* * *

On the other side of town, Janet was in the middle of making a difficult decision.

As a Janet, decision making was one of her fortes: choices were made based on the best available information. However, what a Janet on Earth knew compared to a Janet in another dimension was vastly different. For starters, Janet (who was currently living on Earth) did not have the best information available. She had _'pretty good'_ intel, but it wasn't the same. This time she'd have to do something risky. She was going to choose something based on a gut feeling. 

"It comes in white and brown. Most girls like the white one because it goes with everything, but you look like the kinda girl who could use a brown one." The bearded gentleman behind the counter of  _Zozo's Occult_ _Accoutrements_ held up two keychains, one white and the other brown. Attached to said keychain hung the dried remains of what Janet knew to be a hare's foot, and not in fact a "lucky rabbit's" as the label suggested. 

"Zozo—" Began Janet before she was rudely interrupted.

"Between you and me, you can just call me Stephen. Zozo is just some demon I spoke to on my hand crafted Ouija board. Wanna see it?" 

Jason, who had not been very much help in the way of talking, quickly got off the ground from where he was entertaining a 'fairy' trapped within a glowing cube. Janet knew it was an LED light in the cube and not in fact a fairy— those creatures were too smart to be caught in a mere plastic container— though she kept that information to herself. Placing the fairy on the counter, Jason asked: "Are you going to show us Zozo or your board? I hope it's the board because I didn't wear the right Jaguars jersey to meet a demon."

Stephen gave Janet a pointed look. "He's…?" 

"With me." She finished. "Jason's with me. And no, we would not like to see your board. We're here because—" 

"—Because we want to see the demon."  

"No, Jason stop talking." Janet handed him the fairy box with the instruction that he was sit on the ground. To Stephen she said, "We're here because we need your help. Also, I'm not a girl or human. You can refer to me as Janet."

Stephen thought for a moment, then gave a serious nod. As an elite Cryptologist, he was accustomed to seeing some pretty strange things happening around him. He once saw bigfoot on a paddle board when he was 23, but no one believed him, much less the cryptozoological forums he visited online. Now, standing before him was a being who said they weren't human or a girl— how many encounters began with such candid disclosure? Oh, he'd have so much to tell his friends on Discord. 

Stephen set the keychains back on display and lowered his voice. "I hear what you're saying, Janet." He gave her an over exaggerated wink. "The brown one will suit you perfectly. Now if you step this way…" The far end of the customer service counter was empty of gaudy display cases and gimmicky items. It was in this corner space that Stephen conducted important interviews.

"Okay, I think we're alone— Hello, welcome to the dark side." Stephen gave a cheery wave to a new customer. He took a furtive look around before producing a pen and pad from beneath the counter. "Alright, Janet. How can I be of service?"

Without any further interruption, Janet began the story from the top...

***

"You don't think an actual fairy lives in here, do you Janet?" 

Janet looked up from the Uber app to smile warmly at her boyfriend. He was holding the fairy box protectively to his chest, ever so slightly rocking it back and forth. She didn't have the heart to tell him the 'fairy' he so desperately wanted to believe in was nothing more than a fancy night light. 

"Your fairy will exist whether I believe in it or not," She said rather evasively. Jason did not pick up on the non-committal answer, instead, he stared longingly at the box. "Do you think you'll be able to take care of it? I hear they're a lot of responsibility." 

"It's not for me. I got it for Eleanor so she wouldn't be mad at me. I'm hoping this fairy is Tinker Bell, then maybe she can grant Eleanor a wish or something. Hopefully Eleanor wishes to see a Jaguars game with me." He said that last part more to himself. A moment later he perked up and was ready to ask Janet more questions. "Hey, how many wishes do you think Tinker Bell can grant? This one time me and Donkey Doug taped fireworks to a dog to see if it could fly. I'm not actually sure if it did or not, but I think it got really hurt..."

The arrival of their Uber saved Janet from having to explain in scientific detail the limits of Tinker Bell's powers. That, and the fact that rigging fireworks to a dog was part of what landed Jason in the Bad Place. 

"Oh, perfect timing." Janet pushed him toward the waiting car. She threw their shopping bags in after him, taking great care to place the Zozo's bag on top where it wouldn't be squished. 

"Hey, can I see what you got Eleanor?" 

Janet gave her boyfriend's hand a squeeze. "Later."

* * *

"What do you mean you can only fall asleep if someone reads aloud Kim Kardashian's tweets? That's criminally insane." 

"Hey, I thought this was a judgement free zone."

"This isn't Planet Fitness, it's a bedroom and you're a sociopath."

"Thanks to Chidi I actually know what that means. Less arguing, more reading."

"Well I'm not reading  _that_."

Tahani threw her hands up in frustration. This argument was ridiculous— _Eleanor_ was being ridiculous. Only someone out of their gourd could fall asleep to the misinformed, wholly problematic tweets of a woman famous for breaking the internet with her bottom. Tahani simply had to find a more appropriate form of literature. Placing Eleanor's phone out of arms reach, she disappeared in search of a book.

She returned shortly after with three books.  

"I'm afraid these were the best I could find. JLo's children have a bizarre fascination with Dr. Seuss and Bunnicula, but not for Mrs. Obama and Princess Di. If Auntie Tahani doesn't intervene, I'm afraid Max and Emme will grow up like weeds." Tahani gave her friend a long-suffering look. "Enough of my troubles. You have three choices: The Autobiography of Marc Jacobs,  Maisey the Cat, or—" 

"This one." Eleanor pushed her preferred book into Tahani's lap.

"But did you even consider the other—"

"This one, please _."_

"Alright, alright. Only because this is better for you than Kim's twitter feed." 

Tahani dimmed the lights, opened the book, and began to read:

"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish…" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry about the 3 month hiatus! My dad finally got the surgery he needed a week ago and I started grad school on the 18th of August.
> 
> My schedule for posting chapters is going to change to every two weeks because I need to accommodate space for my classes, internship, and job. Thanks for your understanding and kind words.


	8. Chapter 8

Eleanor couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when her dream began to turn sour, but she was sure of one thing: the Candy Corn Prince was a real jerk. 

Like most dreamers, Eleanor could distinguish what was real and what was make believe. The sexy cardboard cut out of Orlando Bloom: not real. The fish from Dr. Seuss driving a Ford Focus: not real. The candy-striped kid hurling insults: real. Well, the insults were real. The kid? Debatable.

"I bet you're someone who eats out of the garbage can," Said the boy with the striped sweater. From where he sat high up on the wall, he had the perfect angle to look down and sneer. It was obvious why he was called the Candy Corn Prince: for starters, his sweater was the color of Eleanor's favorite Halloween snack, secondly, he wore a crown upon his head. The name, much like the boy, popped into Eleanor's head the moment she laid eyes on him.  

"Hey Ugly," Jeered the little monster. Judging by his tone, Eleanor could tell that 'ugly' was spelled with a capital 'U'. "Wanna know why your mom skipped out on your 5th grade dance recital? It's 'cause you sucked! You wasted your time pretending to dance. You were nothing but a fake. _"_

Eleanor glared at the kid with tears in her eyes. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry over something as trivial as her dance recital, but it was becoming harder and harder to ignore the personal attacks. What was this kid's forking problem? 

Feeding off Eleanor's obvious distress, the Candy Corn Prince continued.

"Remember that time you broke your arm and your dad forgot to pick you up from the hospital? You cried like a baby! Wasn't that funny, Trash Girl? Tell me that's not funny!" The Prince laughed at what was arguably a very traumatic memory for Eleanor. Yeah, her dad may have neglected to pick her up after surgery, but she reasoned that Mr. Schellstrop was a busy guy. With the family's finances in the toilet and her parents coping with the reality of their dissolving relationship, it was no wonder he was too busy to remember her. That was the thought that kept her company as she waited in the lobby of the hospital.

Eleanor sank to the ground in defeat. She had tried to cover her ears when the kid first showed up, but that proved to be futile. The insults continued to broadcast throughout her head. At least cardboard Orlando Bloom was cool about all of this. His stoic expression let her know that he didn't side with the candy-striped prick. Speaking of which, where'd that snotty kid run off to— 

"Boo." 

The child leaped out from behind the wall. 

"Scared ya!"

He rocked back on his heels and laughed. It was a cruel laugh; one that made you feel insignificant. 

Up close, Eleanor could see that the Prince was very frightening. When the boy was sitting many feet above her head, it was impossible to see that his skin was comprised of photos of her childhood: there was a picture of her fighting with Talia and Terrance, and there she was again being rejected by her middle school crush. Ah, here was the 5th grade dance recital, and then time she was left at the hospital. Though each photo lasted no more than a second, to Eleanor it felt like an eternity. Everything she hated about herself— her clothes, her family, her old life— was wrapped up into the nasty little kid with the candy corn sweater. 

"Hey, where are you going?" 

Eleanor shook the kid off as she began walking away. His fingers were so, so cold.  

"Eleanor. Hey, I didn't mean it, I was only kidding… sorta." 

The boy was now walking backwards beside her. His face flickered through old photos faster and faster, the only outward sign of his agitation. His attempt to stop her was unsuccessful. He watched as his prey walked further and further into uncharted dreamland.

"Please don't leave me, Eleanor. We're supposed to stick together, you and me. Arizona Trash, right?"

The silhouette of Eleanor had all but disappeared from the horizon. Just before she was gone, he left her with a chilling adieu: 

"You'll come back. People like us don't change."

* * *

Tahani awoke to find herself alone in the guest bedroom. She had no memory of falling asleep, but at some point she had put the children's book down and closed her eyes. As a self-proclaimed 'light sleeper', she was quite surprised to find that Eleanor managed to leave the room with both the comforter _and_ every pillow on the bed. Yes, even the one Tahani had been sleeping on— wait, no, there it was on the floor. 

As Tahani reached down to scoop up the pillow, she heard a very faint sniffle. Thinking it to be the rustling of fabric, she paused to listen. 

There it was again! That time she was sure she heard it.  

"Eleanor?" 

The noise immediately stopped. By then it was too late; Tahani was on the hunt.

"Where are you?" 

She found Eleanor— or rather an Eleanor-shaped hump— sitting in the bathroom with the lights off. Upon Tahani's entrance, the hump immediately began to retreat into a fortress built of pillows and blankets. 

"Eleanor," Tahani hesitated at the doorway, unsure as to what to do. It was quite clear to her that Eleanor wished to be left alone— no one went to these lengths with the intention of being found. Tahani sank to the floor beside the tub. "I hope it's alright if I join you."

The blanket shifted so that a teary eye could be fixed on Tahani. "Go away. Please."

"Don't be ridiculous. What kind of monster would I be if I left you all alone?" 

Rather than having a soothing effect, this caused Eleanor to burst into tears. The sound was heartbreaking. 

"Oh dear. Was it something I said?"

Tahani wanted to slap her forehead— _of course_ it was something she said. Anyone could see that she was terrible at this whole 'comforting' thing. Hell, she was bad at the whole 'favor' thing in general. She felt horrible for allowing Eleanor to eat junk food, then get bailed out of mall jail, punch her best friend over ice cream, and throw up on the carpark. The worst part was that Tahani had been unable to stop all of it. If, say, Janet were in charge, none of this would have happened.

The more Tahani thought about it, the more she considered climbing into the tub and having a good cry of her own. It would be so easy to pass Eleanor along to someone more competent than she; plus Janet wouldn't mind... 

...But Tahani would.

It would eat her alive to see Eleanor treated as an inconvenient responsibility to be passed around. On the days where Eleanor drank a little too much, she'd share her deepest secrets and fears with whoever was sober enough to listen. That was usually Chidi or Janet, and on some occasion Tahani. She had heard the troubling stories of how Mr. and Mrs. Schellstrop would leave their daughter alone for days as they tailgated sporting events or skipped town. Eleanor dismissed their casual neglect as a 'really chill' parenting-style, but there had been times where she told her friends the way she viewed herself: an unloveable, no good piece of Arizona Trash. 

If Tahani were to leave Eleanor in her time of need— on the worst day of her life, no less— she would be no better than the Schellstrops. Tahani couldn't shoulder that guilt.  

Without a second thought she swallowed her insecurities and stepped over the lip of the tub. 

"Move over Eleanor, I'm coming in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for being so kind and encouraging :) I didn't think I'd make it to 8 chapters with this fic, but I'm glad we're on this journey together! This is part 1 of 2 for this chapter. I've had it sitting in my drafts for too long, so I'm going to add the second half as soon as it's done. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, commenting, or simply giving your kudos. I appreciate every one of you and hope you have a safe, happy holiday season!


	9. Chapter 9

It was as though time ceased to exist as Tahani placed the first, then second leg, into the ceramic bathtub and sat down. All responsibility fell away from her shoulders and scurried down the drain; she'd fish them out at a later date. This afternoon, Eleanor was her priority. 

The poor creature lay with her head against Tahani's chest, her body stretched out behind her like a kite on a windy day. The full weight of Eleanor pressing against her chest was mitigated by the puffiness of the comforter, not that she was heavy in the slightest. On any given day, Eleanor was asking for a piggyback ride because she was tired or wanted someone to carry her around like she was koala. For science, of course. Janet was always willing to oblige, as was Tahani after much wheedling and flattery. As it turned out, all 98 pounds of Eleanor could easily be managed.

One of Eleanor's little hands wormed its way out from under the thick folds of the blanket and grasped the front of Tahani's shirt. It was impossible not to smile. 

Eleanor's soft whimpers indicated that the worst of the crying was over. There was the occasional sob which escaped every now and then, but it wasn't the same as the heaving from earlier. Perhaps there was a tough conversation she and Eleanor needed to have— one that had nothing to do with missing socks and everything to do with feelings of abandonment and neglect, but that could wait for another day. Today, what Eleanor needed most was a shoulder to cry on.

A tender kiss was placed on the crown of Eleanor's head over her unruly hair. "There, I've got you." Tahani murmured. The words felt foreign in her mouth. She'd certainly never learned them from her parents, no, the Al-Jamil's didn't have those words in their expansive vocabulary. It was likely that it wasn't in the Schellstrop's limited one either. However, Tahani said them just the same. She suspected it was the tone of her voice, rather than the content of her words, that soothed Eleanor.

With her eyes closed, Tahani opened her mouth and said the first thing that came to mind: 

"I can't remember the last time my mother held me like this. She was never the touchy-feely type, and I'm afraid I picked up some of her worst genes." She laughed quietly in the silence that followed. "As a kid I was always crying to Mum about Kamilah doing this, that, or the other, or sobbing when I didn't get good marks on my exams. You think I'm being hyperbolic when I say that I was crying, but I was a real drama queen back then. If Kamilah didn't rob the family tree of all it's artistic and theatrical talents, I would have made a damn good actress."

Her words had the desired effect and Eleanor let out a breathy laugh. 

"I stopped crying to her when I was 13 and received the worst gift of my very short, very dramatic life." Tahani sighed as she traced patterns along the back of Eleanor's pajama shirt. "I broke down in tears over silly jewelry— earrings, if we're being precise. My mother received them on her 13th birthday, as had her mother, and her mother's mother. Stupid tradition, really. Who gives an 22 million dollar piece of jewelry to someone who isn't old enough to purchase alcohol?" 

Eleanor hid her smile in the curve of Tahani's breast. 

"Anyways, you must be thinking I was a spoiled brat for wanting anything  _but_ earrings with shavings from the Hope Diamond. Most girls wanted ponies or Louis Vuittons at that age, but I already had everything: the money, the connections, the life you always dreamt about, Eleanor…" The hand on Eleanor's back slowed. "I had it all… but I wasn't happy." 

"Was it because the earrings didn't look good on you?"  

"If there's one thing you know about me, you goose, I make anything look good." A playful tap was given to Eleanor's nose. The story continued. "The problem was that I didn't _want_ earrings. My dream that year was to be Tahani Al-Jamil, reigning roller derby champion, incumbent beauty queen, and part time zoo keeper. It was the 90s and if Barbie could have 500 careers, then so could I. It's needless to say that I was more than disappointed when I opened my present to find earrings where there should have been roller-skates." Though her tone was mocking, every word of it was true. "It was after that year I realized how cruel my parents were. At least yours had no pretense about their…unorthodox… parenting skills, whereas mine were intentionally cold. I remember spending the rest of my birthday crying on the floor of my bedroom." 

"The floor?" 

"Yes, well, my bed was occupied with the gifts I had received from Prince Harry and his brothers, a charming electric train set from Dolly Parton, and a dinner dress from Naomi Campbell— you know, nothing too fancy. If I remember correctly, Ralph Lauren and Coco Chanel's joint gift of athletic wear and perfume took up a full corner of the room. It was honestly a birthday to forget. I didn't even come downstairs to hear the song Yo-Yo Ma wrote for me. Last I saw, the song was circulating in the top 100 of Spotify." 

"What about the earrings?" 

"Oh, those old things. Kamilah planted them on Earth Day as a tribute to Gaia or who whoever she was into that year. Before you get any ideas about digging them up, my mother and father had her retrieve them the very next day." 

Eleanor giggled and wiped her eyes. "Was that really the last time you cried?" 

It was Tahani's turn to laugh. "Heavens no, I cried this morning when I stubbed my toe on the dresser. Then there was last week when Michael insisted we watch Finding Dory on the lawn. I was crying by the time Dory found her way home using the sea shells. Truly a cinematic masterpiece." She drew in a breath. "I cried when I was 13 because I realized that my parents would always choose their own happiness over mine, their tradition over my personal desire. I cried because I had to do my growing up in one day." 

In the silence that followed, Tahani listened to the sound of the waves crashing against Jennifer Lopez's private beach. There was a weight in her chest that was finally gone. There were few people outside of present company who knew the cruelty of the Al-Jamil family, and those who knew attended the weekly Brainy Bunch meet ups. This story was one no one had heard before, and for a sickening moment Tahani wondered if it was the right time to share it. 

The repetitive motion of Eleanor curling and uncurling her hand in the fabric of Tahani's shirt brought her attention back to the present.

"Tahani?" 

"Yes?" 

"Thank you." 

***

Eleanor felt, rather than heard, Tahani's laugh as it rumbled through her chest. "It's what friends do."  

The words left Eleanor with much to consider. Did friends hold onto each other in a bathroom when the world was crashing down around them? Did friends tell you it was going to be okay because they would be there for you? Did friends fill the role of… no. Eleanor shook her head. 

Above her, Tahani seemed to misinterpret the motion and quickly backtracked. "Unless this is too much. I know how you like your space, trust me. I still remember the last time we played manhunt and you kicked me out of your hiding spot. Judas." The hands that had provided such warmth and security for Eleanor began to extricate themselves. 

"No, wait, that's not what I meant." 

Eleanor propped herself up to look Tahani in the face. It was hard to make out fine details in the dimly lit setting, but she could see well enough to know that her friend was listening. 

"I… I don't want you to go. I like it— I like this. I guess I never really had a friend who sat with me while I cried in the bathtub. Not that I make a habit out of this." Suddenly shy, Eleanor swiped her hand across her face to remove the blush that was present. It came back to her wet and somewhat snotty; she discreetly cleaned it on the blanket. "I'm sorry I stole all the blankets and ran away. I was feeling like trash when I woke up, so I fell back into 'Trashy Eleanor' habits and hid." 

This wasn't the first time 'Trashy Eleanor' had reared her ugly head. There was two weekends ago when she drank too much alcohol and proceeded to play strip poker with herself while at one of Australia's seedier bars. As most of her games of poker went, Eleanor  went home alone and fully clothed. This version of herself was the one who didn't know how to love or be loved by others. She said things without thinking, isolated herself from social supports, and was down right miserable. More often than not, Trashy Eleanor came out when there was something challenging Eleanor didn't want to face. It was no surprise she surfaced after the Candy Corn Prince paid a visit. 

"There's no need to apologize, love. Trashy Eleanor doesn't scare me, in fact, she and I may need to have a conversation when she's feeling up to it." Eleanor could see the sincerity in Tahani's face. It was in the way she tilted her head, and in the way she frowned at the derogatory nickname. "I love her just as much as I love you, Eleanor." 

Suddenly shy, Eleanor ducked her head. "You sound like—"  _My mom._ Eleanor caught herself before the words came out. Eleanor didn't have a mom, at least not in the traditional sense. She had a caretaker with whom she shared genes with, but a mother Mrs. Schellstrop was not. Mothers were supposed to carry you into the house when you fell asleep and rock you when you woke up crying. They were supposed to feed you unhealthy snacks only _sometimes_ , not whenever they didn't feel like cooking at home. Mothers were supposed to tell you that you mattered and they would always love you, even when you couldn't love yourself. 

Soft hands rose to cup both sides of Eleanor's face, drawing her chin up. Eleanor's empty stomach did a little flip.  

"You were going to say mother, weren't you? I'm not one to judge, I didn't have a good one either as you know. If I've learned anything worth remembering in the last few months with the Brainy Bunch, it's that life has a funny way of repeating itself. It wouldn't be that big of a stretch to say that sometimes important people in our lives mess up and the universe gives us another go round."

The universe had been pretty good to her recently, but there was no telling what was further up its sleeve. Maybe this was Eleanor's second chance to be let down. She asked her follow up question with great trepidation. "Are you saying that we're getting our second chance?"

Tahani's frown deepened. "I had my just deserts when I made up with Kamilah; the universe is done owing me for a little while. This is your chance at having someone reprise a missing role in your life. Perhaps someone like a mother." 

The meaning of Tahani's words hit Eleanor like a train and her eyes began to well with tears. That was not at all what she was expecting. 

"I… I'd like that." Like a puppet whose strings had been cut, she fell into Tahani's embrace. It felt so right to be here, sharing a bathtub, and quite frankly her heart, with her best friend. This was a moment she didn't want Trashy Eleanor to taint, so she kept her mouth shut.

The voice rumbling in her ear murmured one phrase over and over again: "It's okay, I'm here. It's okay, I'm here." 

For the first time in forever, Eleanor believed it. 

***

Tahani knew the moment Eleanor fell asleep. The tension in the little one's body released and she slumped further into Tahani's neck. A steady stream of drool ran from Eleanor's lips and down her shirt. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Tahani reached for her cellphone and tapped a brief message to Janet. 

 **T:** _Delay dinner by an hour. I'm afraid we're not quite ready for guests._

 **J:** _Will do. Do you need me to pick up anything?_  

Tahani considered Janet's question. Did she need anything… 

 **T:** _If it's not too much trouble, I'm going to send you the order number for some things I bought online. I hope it's not too much._

Janet's reply came in the form of a silly bitmoji. It had her persona in a cat costume giving two thumbs up, a universal sign that everything would be okay. Tahani smiled and allowed the screen to time out. Everything was going to be okay. 

Tahani believed it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're on the home stretch, friends! Two more chapters to go!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have to edit this chapter a little bit later, but I didn't want it sitting in my drafts for too long! If there's any glaring mistakes, let me know so I can fix them ASAP.

"Chidi, I'm afraid you've chosen to die upon the loneliest, most verbose hill in all of Australia."

Tahani stood before the mirror in her walk-in closet in the dress she planned to wear for that evening's activities. With Janet and Jason already on their way, she decided it was best to begin getting herself ready before waking Eleanor and repeating the process. So here she was in the closet. To keep herself company, Tahani figured the best person to call was Chidi. 

The college professor reiterated his snarky comment as he finished locking up his office for the night. "I believe it's perfectly rational for me to assume you've lost your mind if you're choosing to keep Eleanor for another day." It was 7:30pm and he was more than ready to return to an empty home. "You expect me to believe that you tamed that beast, Eleanor, in less than 12 hours— oh God, she can't hear me right?" 

"No, she's worn herself out with crying. She's asleep in my bed for the time being." 

"Good, now tell me: What'd it take to tame her? Did you have to buy a car? No, Eleanor wouldn't bother to drive it. She'd make one of us apply for an Australian license and be her chauffeur. I bet you bought her a house. One that's far away from me. Wait, no, she'd find a way to wreck  _those_ pipes and break into my apartment again."

Tahani listened to a few more guesses before filling Chidi in on her secret. 

"No, nothing like that. We had a little heart to heart, then I made Eleanor an offer and she took it. Get this: she even said 'thank you'." 

Chidi made a choking sound in the back of his throat. "She said what? Oh, no, that's bad, Tahani. I always knew the day would come where we'd have to check Eleanor into a mental hospital for her own good. I've been planning for this eventuality for the past 3 months and I've got the number for the hospital on speed dial—"

"—Chidi—"

"Here, let's make it a three-way call—" 

"—Chidi, don't you dare—" 

"Oh God, is the hospital 1 or 2 on my phone? I can't remember! I think the police are on one and the hospital is... no, I think it's the other way around. I knew I was going to forget, so I switched them back around… unless it's the other way around and I thought I  _wouldn't_ forget—" 

Tahani hung up the phone and hit redial. 

"Chidi, listen to me: you don't need to ring the hospital. Eleanor is fine, she simply had a change of heart. She's going through quite a few changes, actually, and I think they're for the best." Tahani felt a flutter go through her chest. "I swear to you, Eleanor is going to be okay." 

"Tahani, it's my ethical obligation to ask how you managed to dupe Eleanor into becoming a functional member of society? I'm sure it took nothing short of a miracle." 

Tahani wasn't sure how much to tell Chidi; she knew he wasn't the type to judge and she had told him many a secret in good confidence. Still, this wasn't her story to tell. She kept the details as vague as possible. 

"I was tired of seeing Eleanor's self destructive behaviors bear the fruits of misery. I offered her the opportunity to have someone with charm and charisma model the correct behavior of a young lady. I'd hardly call it 'duping' someone." 

"I have the distinct feeling you're paraphrasing Julie Andrews' role in the Princess Diaries. What's your real angle here?"

"It sounds inappropriate when you say it like that. I simply offered Eleanor the chance to let me be her mother and she accepted. There, now you know the truth." The voice on the other end of the phone went quiet. "Chidi?" 

"If my ears aren't deceiving me, you just said you've become Eleanor's mother." Chidi seemed to be taking the news rather well. 

"You heard correctly. Now let's agree to handle this news like adults."  

"If you'll excuse me for a moment, I have to call the mental hospital to pick all three of us up in its finest padded limousine. If you're adopting Eleanor at the age of 30, then it's time I lived out my dream as a rock farmer on Mars. Chidi will be hanging up the phone now and booking a flight with Elon Musk." 

"Oh no he won't. Chidi is going to ground his feet on Terra Firma and keep his mouth shut, otherwise Eleanor won't be the only person he's scared of." 

"Chidi understands he's in danger." 

"Chidi is a smart man."

They fell into a fit of laughter. Tahani's shoulders felt lighter now that she had told another soul of the arrangement between she and Eleanor. It meant a great deal to her that Chidi was the first to be supportive, albeit in his own way. Like Tahani predicted, all he needed was a second to freak out before he found his bearings and moved on. This attitude was one of the many things Tahani appreciated about her friend. When Chidi spoke again his voice was optimistic, maybe even a little curious:

"Where do you two go from here?" 

"I've decided to follow Eleanor's lead on this one. Of course I did research on my own, but there were few articles that talked about friends adopting their friends well into adulthood. However, I did find a couple websites geared toward something called an adult baby. Have you heard of them before?" 

"Are you asking me if I've heard of an oxymoron? Yes. I'm quite familiar with things that don't make sense, but an adult baby is not one of them."

Tahani could tell Chidi was smiling.  

"Well, Mr. University Professor, it's time you used the internet to look up more than Pythagorus' theorem—"

"—Wrong department—"

"-and give Google a try." 

They bantered like this for a few more minutes:  Chidi explaining why it was more efficient for Tahani to share what she knew, Tahani refusing on the grounds that she was too busy. Eventually they came to a compromise where Tahani would share what she knew if Chidi would send her more information once he arrived at home. It wasn't how he wanted to spend his evening, but he'd do anything for their friend. 

"Alright, so what I understand is that you're going to follow Eleanor's lead on this mother-daughter thing. For everyone's sake I hope this works out. Adopting Eleanor is like adopting an entire zoo, including the staff and the guests. Maybe even the marketing team." 

"I think I'll get the hang of it. I have Janet bringing me some of the items I ordered. It wasn't much, but I think it'll get us started on this little adventure." Tahani left out the part where she bought an entire truckload of items for Eleanor. "We'll see what happens when I wake her in the next few minutes. Don't say a word to Janet or Jason about Eleanor, alright? I'd like her to be the one to tell them when she's ready." 

"I can't tell if that was a well-concealed threat, or a genuine request. Either way my lips are sealed. Call me if you need anything."

Chidi's stop came sooner than Tahani hoped and she gave him one last goodbye.

"Don't forget, Michael is hosting another cookout this Friday. My place, 2 o'clock sharp."

"Your place, 2 o'clock. Got it. This time I'm bringing my practice dummy to teach everyone CPR because I'm growing tired of Jason and Eleanor drowning the second they step into 3 feet of water. You should hire a lifeguard to be present at these cookouts." 

"Honestly Chidi, you should stick to teaching and not economics. It's a horrible business idea to hire a lifeguard when you do such an excellent job of rescuing them. Plus, you work for free."

There was a pause on the other line where Tahani imagined Chidi rolled his eyes.  

"Yeah, silly me. What was I thinking?" He sighed. "I swear, Eleanor takes after you so well. You two deserve each other. Goodnight, _mom._ "

"Goodnight, Chidi."

***

Waking Eleanor proved to be more complicated than initially thought.

Tahani took a moment to consider how she wanted to go about stirring the kraken from her sleep. On many occasion Eleanor had woken with the internal programming of a trained assassin. Other times, Eleanor behaved as though she were a fairytale princess waking from a thousand-year sleep. Since Tahani wasn't the type of woman to gamble, she wasn't sure what her odds may be this time around. 

She stood at the edge of the bed with Eleanor's evening wear draped over one arm and a glass of water in the other. She figured Eleanor could use a drink after crying so much in one day; by God, Tahani couldn't remember the last time she saw anyone cry so much in one day. To be honest, the tears didn't bother Tahani much. She felt confident in the way she'd weathered them today and was confident the worst had passed. As she set the glass on the nightstand she found that a pair of deep blue eyes were watching her. 

"Oh, Eleanor, you frightened me. How are you feeling?" Tahani laid the clothes across her lap as she settled onto the bed. The look on Eleanor's face reminded her of her good friend, Prince William, and his daughter Charlotte. When Charlotte was a toddler she would stare into Tahani's eyes with the most trusting look only a child could give. It was a look that reminded parents how dependent their little ones were. At the time it had inspired fear into Tahani's heart and she quickly handed the child back to Kate; with Eleanor the look made her heart melt. 

"Water?" 

"Ah, yes, here we are. You've got to sit up so you can hold the glass." As Eleanor drank, Tahani took the opportunity to brush her wild hair. "I took the liberty of choosing your clothes for tonight, I hope you don't mind." The green sweater and black leggings received an appreciative nod from Eleanor who seemed less than excited to get out of bed. When Eleanor was done with her water she flopped into Tahani's lap.  

Tahani found out the hard way how easy it was to get lost in Eleanor's blue eyes. They sent her adrift in an ocean of blue and green. Tahani floated above a sea of insecurities, old wounds, and fears of abandonment in a sturdy boat. The water didn't feel so deep when she cradled Eleanor in her arms and she imagined Eleanor felt the same. Together they could weather whatever storm came. 

"Legs," Eleanor began. In a quieter voice she corrected herself. "Tahani. Did you really mean what you said… you know… about all that mom stuff?"

"Of course, Darling. I only ever say what I mean." She kissed Eleanor's forehead. "I want you to be happy, so I'm prepared to be your mom, your confidant— your everything in between. All you have to do is trust me."

Eleanor's doe eyes blinked slowly. Apparently satisfied with what she heard, she pressed a hug into Tahani's stomach and gathered her evening clothes. In less than a minute she was ready, her hands eagerly reaching out to Tahani.

Tahani stood and gently pulled Eleanor along with her. Together they descended the stairs. 

* * *

Jason could hardly contain his excitement as he bounced in his chair. He planned the evening perfectly: throughout dinner he monopolized Eleanor's time by talking to her about his Lego Batman collection, then during the movie he sat beside Eleanor on the couch, and now the time had come for him to share his present. 

He and Eleanor were seated at the barstools overlooking the kitchen. Janet and Tahani were busy making cookies, though it appeared that it was just Janet making the cookies and Tahani doing a majority of the bossing around. Their conversation (outside of the orders to preheat the oven or cut the dough evenly) seemed rather boring and Jason knew this was as good a time as any. He scurried to the front door where he had left Tinker Bell on the floor beside his shoes. Her light danced erratically as he popped back into his seat. 

"I got you something," He said, drawing Eleanor's attention from her phone. She set the device down on the counter and gave him her full attention. 

"Before you show me it, I just wanna say I'm sorry for punching you. I was a real jerk." Eleanor smiled sheepishly to which Jason offered one of his own. He then placed the box in Eleanor's lap. "What is it?" 

"It's a fairy box. Janet and I knew you were having a really bad day, so we went to _Zozo's_ and got something to cheer you up." The conversation by the stove quieted as the 'adults' listened to their exchange. Eleanor picked up the box and gave it an experimental shake. The light grew brighter under her touch. 

"Is there something inside?"

He shook his head and explained how Tinker Bell lived in it, but she wasn't allowed to come out. Her main role was to give out wishes to good boys and girls, but Jason wasn't sure how that metric worked. For Eleanor's sake he hoped they had both been good.

Eleanor stared intently at the little box. "Can I make my wish now?" 

Jason thought for a moment. He wanted Eleanor to organically come to the conclusion that their friendship was the most important thing in the entire world— next to the Jaguars, naturally. However, he thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to plant the thought in her head before she made a wish. 

"You can make it now if you want. The guy at _Zozo's_ didn't give great instructions, but he _did_ say that Tinker Bell could hear us. Do you… maybe want to be my friend again?"

Eleanor grinned. "Of course." 

***

"Honestly, Janet, Googling something isn't the end of the world. It' just means you're a little bit more human than you first thought. Hell, I Google things all the time, though it's usually when Chidi is talking and I don't understand what he's saying." Tahani spoke quietly to Janet who was molding cookie dough. The inter-dimensional being fixed her with a scowl. 

"Of course it makes sense for you to Google things, Tahani.  _You're_ human. You always have been. I'm…" 

"You're Janet and sometimes Janets don't know everything. Life is more interesting when you learn new things; after all,  my life is significantly more interesting with the Brainy Bunch around. That one's too big, Janet." Tahani pointed to one of the lopsided dough balls. The mistake was quickly fixed and they moved on to the next ball.   

Janet looked dubiously at the cookie sheet. When she spoke again it had nothing to do with cookies and everything to do with Eleanor. "You've done an excellent job with Eleanor today. A lot better than what I would have done." 

"Ah, well, I can't take all the credit. A lot of it was circumstantial. You happened to be headed to the mall to hang out with Eleanor, I just so happen to be rich and rent a mansion— all the usual things." Tahani rolled her eyes to indicate that she was joking. "All things being equal, I appreciate the compliment. I don't know what I'd do without you." 

Janet finished placing the cookies on the sheet and checked the oven temperature. Satisfied, she loaded the first sheet into the oven and set the timer. "You have a soothing effect on children." 

Tahani wasn't expecting that. With a guarded expression she coyly asked what Janet meant. 

"There's no need to pretend Tahani. _Mary's Littlest Lamb?_ I had to Google the place to get there, so I did the math. You don't have to confirm or deny, I just _know_." She did an approximation of a wink, though the landing didn't stick as well as she hoped. To an outside observer it looked as though Janet were blinking really hard. 

"So you mean to tell me that your whole 'I-don't-know-anything' bit is just a charade? Janet, have you been dodging my questions about James Franco being in a relationship or BANKS cancelling her tour?"

"No, it's not a charade. You're friends with James on Instagram and BANKS' tour dates can be found if you Googled them." Janet made it a point to hold up her own cellphone. "All I'm saying is that Eleanor wanting a mother isn't news to me. It's common for adult babies to have a caregiver or someone they feel safe with. I meant it when I said you're good with children." 

Tahani relented. "Sorry, I came across a little strong. Again, thank you." 

The conversation gradually turned to other topics and soon it was time for the cookies to be served. Tahani savored Janet's compliment and thought about it as she cleaned up for the night. When it came time to say goodbye, Janet surprised Eleanor with a neatly wrapped package. It wasn't from  _Mary's Littlest Lamb,_ instead it was from  _Zozo's Occult Shop._

"What is it, darling?" Tahani asked as she stood behind Eleanor. The four of them waited patiently in the foyer for Janet and Jason's Uber to arrive. Eleanor quickly tore through the paper and held up a pair of long socks with colorful stripes. They looked awfully lucky. 

"Thank you Janet, thank you Jason," She wrapped them in a bear hug. It wasn't quite the same color as her original lucky socks, but the magic and mystery were equally potent. 

By the time the Uber came and took their friends away, Eleanor had slipped the socks onto her feet. 

"We've had quite the day, haven't we?" Tahani said as she led Eleanor to the living room. She fell heavily against the cushions, her body spread out like a starfish. Eleanor took the opportunity to plant herself in Tahani's lap. When she was comfortable, she closed her eyes and lay perfectly still. "You can't possibly be tired."

"No. I just want to be close to you."

Tahani hummed in harmony to that statement.

"If we're going to properly relax, then we need a blanket. Go ahead and choose one from the closet. I'll be right back."

By the time Tahani returned, one blanket had multiplied into six and there were pillows where there had been none before. If Eleanor was waiting for a complaint, it never came. Instead, she was presented with a large stuffed animal.

"I thought you might like some extra company while we're down here. I hear he's a good snuggler." 

Eleanor took a brown and tan giraffe into her arms with great care. Its long fluffy neck and deep brown eyes reminded her of Tahani, though she didn't say that aloud. What she did say was, "Thank you." 

They found their seats once more and Tahani put on the latest episode of Blue Planet. With the lights dimmed and the sounds of David Attenborough narrating softly in the background, Tahani closed her eyes and savored the sanctity of this moment.

She could get used to this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of turning the Eleanor/Tahani dynamic into a series with this work being the introduction into their relationship. It's likely that the following additions will be one shots since it seems to be more challenging with my schedule to have chapters released on a regular basis. 
> 
> Feel free to submit ideas or add a chapter of your own! I love to hear from you all.
> 
> Have a stellar 2020, cool cats!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for joining me on this adventure, friends. You all have been stellar readers and very supportive friends. I look forward to seeing you in the one-shot series of Little Eleanor and Mama Tahani.

Friday rolled around with its usual flair of energy and excitement. Chidi got off work early, Michael arrived with the intention to grill the world's best burgers, Janet took up her role at the turn tables, Tahani played hostess, and Jason and Eleanor busied themselves in the pool.

This was how an excellent weekend began. 

* * *

Michael knew cooking the world's best burgers was a rather tall order for someone who didn't know how to cook. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but he wasn't quite sure how to follow up on such an outrageous claim. 

Somewhere in the Bad Place, perhaps tucked into a dusty corner or thrown atop a pile of trash, was a trophy letting Michael know that he was the 'Baddest Bench' who could get shirt done. He got the trophy as a corporate pat on the back for slaying the game in his Neighborhood. 

Too bad that meant nothing on Earth. 

In his new-found quest of 'doing the right thing', Michael abandoned his position as an architect and wound up topside flipping burgers. If he had a mother he was sure this was what she would define as a 'dead end job'. Still, he liked to make his friends happy and if eating veggie burgers and hot dogs tickled their fancy, then he'd do it. He'd make them all the best dang burgers they'd ever eaten. 

As Michael stood over the smoldering grill he wondered why he had ever opened his big fat mouth.

"Hey, is my burger done?" 

The demon snapped out of his reverie to find Eleanor standing beside him, her attention on the charred pellet he was poking. She wore a look of concentration as she assessed his ability to deliver on the best burgers in the world. 

"Well?" She pushed wet hair from her eyes and placed a hand on her hip for emphasis. Coming from anyone else it could have been considered a proposition for a fight, but on Eleanor it looked very comical. Michael took note that her bathing suit was wet from the pool, as was her hair, and she was dripping yucky chlorinated water all over his work area. Though Michael wore a Hawaiian shirt and swim trunks, he had no intention of actually participating in the water activities that afternoon. 

"'Well' what, Eleanor?" 

"Well is it done? I'm hungry."

He sniffed the blackened meat experimentally. "It's hard to tell with this bean stuff, you know. I'd say it could use five more minutes—" 

"Give me that, you're burning it!" 

Michael found himself being pushed out of the way as Eleanor took both his job _and_ his spatula. The audacity! She expertly flipped the blackened remains of her veggie burger onto a waiting bun and stalked off. Touchy! Before the first bite could be had, Tahani swooped in and threw it away.

"Tahani!" Michael cried. That was the worlds best burger she'd just thrown away! Michael contemplated fishing around in the trash for his beloved burger, but it wasn't worth it. He'd simply have to make more.

"Michael, that didn't look safe enough to even recycle. I'll just have Eleanor share with me." Tahani called over her shoulder. The demon watched as she sat Eleanor down and began to feed her bites of her own cucumber sandwich. Bummed, he turned back to his grill to find Janet doing that thing where she stood too close.  

"Oh! You frightened me, Janet. What is it?" 

"I wanted to see how your cooking was going. It looks, uh… can I?" Janet reached out as if she were going to take one of the crispy mistakes. Michael nodded. "Thanks, I'm just going to…" The plate of charred burgers was thrown into the trash. This time Michael did not complain. 

"I thought I could make the best burgers ever, but it turns out I'm about a good a chef as Jason." Janet's boyfriend looked up and waved at the mention of his name. "From the looks of it, Tahani's sandwich is better at making Eleanor happy than I am. I just wanted to be good at something."

"You tried and that's what matters. Chidi seemed to like your food and I'm sure he's somewhere enjoying  it right now." 

In actuality, Chidi was curled into the fetal position on the floor of the bathroom cursing the day he met Michael. In his excitement over food and good company, Chidi gobbled three burgers without realizing his grave mistake until it was too late. It was by the grace of God he'd found the bathroom in time to empty his stomach of the hazardous contents. 

"Yeah, you're probably right. Say, can you tell me something?" Michael's gaze turned back to Tahani and Eleanor. Eleanor was in the process of getting her hands and face wiped by Tahani. It perplexed Michael to see them getting along so well, not that he was complaining. A lot happened in the week he had not seen his friends, such as Chidi receiving a large check for his research, Jason joining a karate class, and Janet taking up the lost art of underwater basketweaving. What he was most interested in was how Tahani had Eleanor wrapped around her well-manicured finger. "How's Eleanor adjusting to life up top?" 

Janet followed his gaze. "Oh, yes. It may be easier if we discuss that once Eleanor has gone home for the night. Why don't you and I swap jobs for now: I'll grill the second best burgers in the world while you play music." 

"If you say so, Janet." 

For everyone who was not Chidi Anagonye, the rest of the afternoon went without a hitch. 

***

That night when Eleanor climbed into bed, she did so with very little enthusiasm. She had spent the past four nights sleeping at Tahani's house, one night on the couch where she watched the host of The Late Night Show interview Lizzo, the other three in the guest room. They agreed Eleanor would go home after Friday's cookout to ensure the pipes in her apartment were in working order. She'd done her own sweep of the two bedroom apartment and it all seemed fine. However, she was required to check-in with her landlord to go through it step by step, pipe by pipe.  

Of course Eleanor forgot to contact her landlord and the time was now 11:30pm. She lay in bed with nothing but her thoughts and her fluffy pal, Gi-Raphael. The stuffed giraffe had been christened earlier in the week, much to Eleanor's delight. She came up with the name herself and it made her laugh every time his name was brought up in conversation. Gi-Raphael had become a permanent feature of her person and she took him wherever she went. 

So far the giraffe was the only indication that Monday night's conversation had not been a figment of Eleanor's imagination. There moments throughout the last four days where Eleanor could feel herself slipping into the role of Tahani's daughter, but they were hardly anything to write home about. There was the time where Tahani tucked her in for the night or when she read her another Dr. Seuss book. Other smaller instances were Tahani unbuckling Eleanor's seatbelt and holding her hand as they crossed the street. Each interaction made Eleanor feel safe and loved. She wasn't sure how to put those feelings into words and it frustrated her to no end. 

Chidi once told her it was always easier to say what you meant when you wrote it down. Taking his advice, Eleanor climbed out of bed and retrieved her notebook. Flipping to a new page she scribbled the words  _safe & good _and in another line _Tahani = mom?_ She didn't know what it meant, but maybe Tahani would. 

She hugged Gi-Raphael close and checked the notifications on her phone. Chidi shared a picture in the group chat while he was en route to the hospital. Apparently Michael's burger was not done beating up his intestines. 

Eleanor sent him a text outside the chat. 

 **E:**   _you good?_  

 **C:** _Yeah, t_ _urns out Michael tried to feed us the worlds deadliest burgers :/ If I wasn't two inches from death's door, I'd make him eat one too. By the way, do you know how to kill a demon? Asking for a friend._

 **E:**   _s_ _orry bud, no clue. I was actually hoping I could pick that big brain of yours_

 **C:** _It'll be easier if I call. My hands are cramping._

A moment later Eleanor was listening to the sound of Chidi wheezing while medical staff worked in the background. "God, you sound terrible." 

"Thank you, Eleanor. I could really use some putting down right now. Do you sell that sentiment in card form?" 

"Sorry, that's not why I called." Eleanor laughed sheepishly. "I, uh, kinda need your help."

"I won't hide a body if that's what you're asking." 

"No, I'm for real this time. I want to talk to Tahani about something really important, but I don't know how." 

Chidi could take an educated guess as to what Eleanor wished to discuss. "Did you write it down?"

"I did. It doesn't make much sense though."

"Maybe I can help. What does it say?" 

Eleanor shook her head. Belatedly she realized Chidi could not see her. "Uh, it's kill codes for a secret space missile."

"Uh… huh… Well, I'm sure if it's something as important as that, Tahani wouldn't care how much sense it makes. She'd want to know right away." A nurse came by to check Chidi's vitals. When she left Chidi continued. "Listen, she loves you more than anyone I know. Give her a call before she goes to bed." 

"You're right, I'm being silly. Thanks Cheed, I hope you feel better."

Eleanor hung up. 

* * *

"Eleanor, darling, it's almost midnight. Is everything alright?"

Tahani was taking a walk through the house when she received a call form Eleanor. The house felt so empty without her friend there to fill it with noise and laughter. She knew Eleanor needed time away to think, but that didn't stop her from wanting to send a cab to collect her anyways.

"No— I mean, yes. Everything is good. I'm good. Just uh, thought I'd call." Eleanor's discomfort was both endearing and worrying. "Are you busy?" 

"Not in the slightest. Just doing some light cardio," Tahani slapped her forehead. Who did cardio at midnight? Fortunately there were no follow up questions. "What's on your mind, Eleanor?" 

"You know how Chidi always says we should write down something if we don't know how to say it? Well, I did. So I'm going to say it and you can tell me if it makes sense or not."

"Alright. I'm all ears." 

Eleanor shuffled some papers. "I, uh, okay. Do you remember our talk on Monday in the bathroom? Yeah, I realized my version of a mom was kinda screwed up and I didn't know what it felt like to be loved. When you tucked me in for the night I felt it, and I felt it again when you let me sit in your lap. I know it sounds weird to say out loud, but I feel safe and good when you treat me like a child." 

Tahani perched on the bottom step and listened to Eleanor pour her heart out. 

"I, uh, I did some research and I found something called a…" Eleanor made an indecipherable sound then didn't speak for a while. At one point Tahani checked to see if their call had dropped, but that was not the case. While she waited for Eleanor to gather her thoughts she picked nervously at the fraying end of her pajamas. After a minute of silence Tahani stepped in.

"Darling, I think I know what you're talking about. See, I did research of my own and I believe what you're trying to say is adult baby." The girl on the other end of the phone squeaked. "Yes, I know of them. I wasn't sure if you were open to the idea or had done your own research and found it wasn't for you."

"No, well, I don't know. I guess I don't really know much about it." 

"It's okay if you don't know, love, that's what your Mummy is here for." 

"How will I know what I like and don't like if I haven't tried it?" 

Tahani resisted the urge to laugh. What a very Eleanor question. "I guess we'll just have to try everything. As long as you promise to tell me what you like and don't like." 

"Are we really going to try everything? Even…" Eleanor lowered her voice despite the fact it was only the two of them. "Even diapers?"  

Tahani thought about the room she had upstairs with all her purchases from  _Mary's Littlest Lamb._ The crib was already set up (thanks to Janet and Chidi) and the rest waited patiently to be unboxed. There were bottles, onesies, mobiles, pacifiers, bibs, diapers, children's books and so much more waiting to be used by Eleanor when she was ready. With as much reassurance as she could put behind the words, she answered: 

"Yes, silly goose, even those."  

This seemed to soothe the worst of Eleanor's fears. Her breathing returned to normal and she mumbled something. 

"What was that, my love?" 

"Okay, mommy." 

Tahani smiled. "Thank you for telling me what was on your mind. Let's talk more tomorrow. It's time for little girls and their giraffes to go to sleep. I love you, Eleanor."

"I love you too."

***

That night Eleanor didn't dream of Candy Corn Princes or cardboard cutouts of Orlando Bloom. The details of the dream were not as important as the feeling that accompanied the warmth and safety of being loved. Eleanor slept for hours and when she awoke she was filled with the giddy hope of a child. 

It took her a little bit longer than normal to get ready that morning, but she was prepared when the knock came at 9am. She braced herself for what was about to be the best day of her life. Swinging open the door, she greeted her guest with a cheerful smile.

"Good morning Mommy."

[ ](https://emojipedia.org/twitter/twemoji-12.1.5/red-heart/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering why this chapter is coming out literally 2 days after the previous upload, that's because I rushed the deadline! :p 
> 
> I wrote it last night and this morning in order to make room for the upcoming stories in this series. I'm so excited to explore Eleanor and Tahani's relationship, I hope you are too. Leave a comment with ideas for future works or let me know what I can do better. Either way your input is appreciated! 
> 
> Love y'all! Peace out :)


End file.
